Surviving Burnout

This summer I joined a Mastermind group, which to be honest I never really considered in my previous professional life. But it just seemed to appear at just the right time. For those asking what a mastermind group is:

“The coordination of knowledge and effort of two or more people, who work toward a definite purpose, in the spirit of harmony.”

In short, our’s is a small collection of boss babes from different industries that get together and talk about our goals, desires and wants out of our businesses. It’s also an injection of positivity, fresh thinking and accountability to each of our entities. For someone who hates any sort of organized anything, it’s been an opportunity for me to sit back and evaluate the sum of all parts in my life in general.

I think I first developed burnout back in 2008, the recession had hit and I was on the tail end of my 20’s after many years of slugging it out to climb the corporate ranks of oil & gas, we were now plunged into the Hunger Games of surviving rounds of  layoffs and job cuts. Morale plunged with co-workers and people I considered my friend and stress mounted in both personal and work life. As time went on I noticed I had shapeshifted into a person I no longer recognized.  I was cynical and overtly critical, with friends and family. Even the smallest of tasks seemed to overwhelm me and all I wanted to do was take a big nap, but wait couldn’t because for the most part was sleeping an average of 4-5 hours a night. In short- my soul felt bone-tired.

And then one day I hit bottom. Or at least realized it as I ran down to get my dinner from the food vendor in the building before they closed at 7pm, apparently they hadn’t forgotten about me, because they had pre wrapped a dish up for me, anticipating my typical late night arrival.

WTF!!  I shouted in my head, how dare they assume I’m so predictable and sadly here again another late evening at the office. Within that instant I sank into the realization that I was wading chest deep through the glaring signs of burnout and I went back to my office and wrote my resignation letter.

And quit I did and a month later decided that I would take a 6 month hiatus and figure out what I really wanted to do based on my values and wants out of life. But unfortunately 3 weeks into the break the worker bee in me panicked, I was offered a job from a company with a 50% salary increase and I figured I was stupid not to take it. It was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my career.

See to me, I value the power of someone’s word. In our fast moving world, I uphold the fact that if I commit to something, I will make it happen come hell or high water. After 3 days on the job I knew I had made a horrible mistake. I was in an even worse position than before, not only was I miserable, it made me a useless entity at work. No one wants to be around that kind of energy suck. You’ve heard about the poison pill? Yep that was me.

So after a month, I gave notice. I had lost respect and confidence from colleagues who had supported and promoted me. I had broken my word and it cost.

4 tell-tale signs of burn-out, which I exhibited all but failed to recognize:

-The simplest tasks had become hard.

-My creativity or problem solving skills had vanished.

-I resented taking on additional work or activities.

-Once seeming fun or joyful activities felt like obligations. 

So how the heck do you survive and revive from burnout you might ask? Well by no means am I an expert or giving advice on how to cure it, but I’ve found some of these things to help steer me to a path of rejuvenation:

–Time Baby Time

It was completely unrealistic for me to think that I would have righted the ship after only a month. Heck after trying to unwind from burnout you’re maybe still only at 20% normal operation 1-3 months in. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the time you need and make it a necessary requirement.

– Tell People and Set Your Boundaries

After the disastrous 1 month tenure, I had an old boss approach me to come back to work at the company where I had started my career. As much as I loved the atmosphere and people that worked there, I was hesitant to jump back into a full schedule knowing that I wasn’t even at 60% capacity. After explaining this we came to an agreement that I would come back as a consultant as a subject matter expert that only required me to participate and be in the office 2 days a week. The rest I could do from home at my own pace. This is the place I found a great “resting” spot without feeling socially or professionally isolated. People knew that I was available to help, but within newly set limitations.

-Rethink your work and move towards joy. 

After taking about 6 months, I knew that the way I currently worked had to change. I also knew that I needed to find a way to creatively express myself.  My education and career unfortunately was not allowing me to do that. So after some thought and prodding by my dear brother- Cashmere & Camo was created Jan 1st, 2011. And if I look back at the earliest of post I just laugh. I had no idea what I was doing, it resembled some sort of online journal but for the first time in a long time, I was having fun and not being perfect! I woke up with energy and ideas on blog topics and this energy also spilled over into my real career and life. For the first time in a while life started to have colour again.

-Change how you live 

Seems simple right? My mom once said that I needed more routine in my life, that would help with the burnout and get my life on track. Turns out monotony is a killer for me. I dread schedule, it kills my creativity and essentially my joy.

I realized the biggest gift I could give myself in this life is flexibility. I started my own company- which you might think crazy if you are trying to overcome something like this- but it gave me the refresh and flexibility I needed to get my drive and confidence back.

After climbing out of the burnout pit, I find myself wired differently. I’m kinder to myself if I recognize that I don’t have the capacity to cram everything into a day. I take a nap if I feel the need and say no to people even if I face the risk of them thinking me unkind or selfish. I have a do not disturb on my phone from 10pm-6am to avoid those dings from manic people, like I previously was feeling the need to send emails out at 3 am.

I watch my health and how I’m feeling now like a hawk. If I feel like I’m dipping below that reserve line, I stop- I give myself time and take a break. And I don’t feel shame in telling people when I need it now. It’s forced me to reflect and gain perspective on all aspects of my life. I realize now it’s not about working harder, it’s about working smarter and that not everything has to be a conventional path in life. If anything it’s been almost ten years in the making that has ignited me on a path that I never would have imagined for myself when I was sitting in a university lecture hall. So my take away would be that there is light at the end of a burnout.